Why stop at abortion, Tom?

overgrown weeds
As I was ruefully gazing out over the lush, unkempt tangle of my backyard this morning, wondering how one broke, stove-up middle-aged woman is supposed to keep up with yardwork when it rains 2 inches a day for a month, my ruminations turned to a bit of recent theorizing of a certain disgraced (but of course completely innocent) ex-congressnutria, Tom DeLay.

It occurred to me, extrapolating from his dickery blathering about murdered fetuses denied their rightful lives as menial laborers, that had I set myself to the task of conceiving and birthing the several dozen children my body was capable of, had I done that (instead of being a childless godless lesbian flushing all my viable eggs down the toilet for years), well, I wouldn’t be needing help keeping my damned grass mowed, now would I?

Think about it.

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8 Responses

  1. Well, it’s a point of view.

  2. lawns are retarded. i prefer wild myself.

  3. ok, I love this post really hard.

  4. lawns are retarded

    I don’t have a lawn. I have yard and side pasture. And my wanting to keep the grass below knee-high in either of those places isn’t “retarded,” though a supposed adult categorizing that with which he/she disagrees as ‘retarded’ might be.

  5. Hey, have you tried having a glass of wine out on the deck and staring at the vegetation wishing it would stop growing for a week or two? I’ve heard it helps… not the grass situation, but it can’t hurt at this point.

    You have some sort of riding vehicle for this torture, I mean task ahead of you?

    Interesting phrase ‘stove-up’ is.

  6. VirgoTex:
    hie thee out to 4200 Smith School Road and get some info on Wildscaping. ‘Tis green, bird, butterfly and squirrel/cat friendly, and pretty. Plus it’ll cut your water bill way way way way way down the next time Noah doesn’t pay Austin a season-long housecall.
    Can be very very lovely: you’re in the zone that salvias and so forth are fond of.
    Up here in Lubbock … a live oak, some mustang grapes (running up a cattle panel nailed to the eaves; it’s like having a bedroom in the jungle!) and the silver maple that came with the house are loving our wettest-year-since-the-1940s. The cats love the knee-deep grass (great cover! — the pouncing is so on!) too.

  7. Thanks Sarah- already all about that. I’m a few hours away from a state Master Naturalist certification.

    The assumptions I’ve got a capital ” L” Lawn are amusing. My neighbors would get a kick out of it. Thing is, I’ve lived in this place a year and haven’t mowed once. When I moved in my side lot/pasture wasn’t fenced and the deer had chewed it down to nothing but mud. I wanted to just let everything grow- to see what I had and to start succession on the grasses.

    But it’s time: I’ve catalogued what I have and everything-grasses and flowers- that was going to seed out has already done so, and with the rain, everything’s legged out beyond control. Also when stuff gets this high, with all the deer we have, ticks become a big problem.

    I don’t water the pasture and only use recycled water from my rain barrels when and if I have to water the front and any potted plants.

    Racy: the Ex got the riding mower in the split. The side lot is too rocky and un-level to mow anyway- gotta use the weed eater on it. I divided into quarters and I’m doing a little every day- hence the “stove up-edness”

    I’ve got a little mower for the front- it’s not big enough to justify a riding mower.

    As for the wine and staring, it’s my favorite hobby. [gr]

  8. Racy: the Ex got the riding mower in the split.

    Gawd, if I had a dollar for every time a dyke has told me that one…

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