Beratin’ meself fer fergitting the approach of Talk Like a Pirate Day and failing to adequately prepare for the occasion, I am.
Allow me an extemporaneous exploration. As one who lives with a psittacine, I believe, like most of my ilk, that much about pirates — from the eyepatch to the Arrrrrrrgghh — can be explained.
If ye’ve been bit by a parrot, ye surely get the “arrrrrghhhhhh”- that along with a great deal of profanity- was pretty much the sound I made the last time it happened to me. And the experts caution about never letting a parrot on yer shoulder. Of course, the parrots don’t give a fuck what the experts say- shoulders are their favorite roost and it’s difficult to keep ’em from the destination once they’ve begun the traverse. I’ve never lost an eye but my ears have borne witness to the scourge o’ tha beak. Imagine, if you will, someone putting yer earlobe in a sharpened pair of vice grips. Why do they bite? Because it works and they like it, mostly. It’s all about the drama.
“Aarrrrggghhhhhh” indeedy, matey.
Many happy returns o’ the day, ya lily-livered landlubbers and sons o’ the sea alike.