Radio Free Blackberry Post: Why me, Pod?

God/Goddess of my Understanding, Bhagavan, Bodhisattva……

Krishna… la Virgin de Guadalupe…Ussen…Ganesha…Whedon…Cthulhu…Dusty Springfield….KwanYin…FSM…Lords of Kobol:

I prostrate myself unto you, please hear my petition.

I can accept much of what you have dealt me, I can handle most of my sorry lot. I accept my sucky job, my crappy car, the total lack of a decent ending for Deadwood, that Tina Fey really is straight, finding myself going throgh yet another fucking delayed adolescence at such an advanced age, the odds that a Republican will be elected in 2008 still being higher than those that I’ll ever get laid again, that I currently know five people with book deals and none of them are me and one of them is 25, even that the chupacabra is not real…

All of these things I can accept.

But I cannot accept
that my
FUCKING
iPOD
FUCKING
DIED
TODAY!!!!

O, why hast thou forsaken me so?

Denial: I’ll just reinstall the firmware

Anger: That’s right, Jobs. Over. Your teeth, my ass. We’re done here.

Bargaining: Please oh please, just take the Rabbit Pearl instead

Depression: Well at least tomorrow is Monday and Garrison Fucking Keillor won’t be on every fucking time I turn on the car radio instead….

Acceptance: Okay, I’m calling it… 3:07 A.M.

[Removes earphones]

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3 Responses

  1. May it rest in peace.

    Youse need a book deal!

  2. there’s just this little issue about content

    and quality of writing

    and discipline

    and….

  3. listen up, sister, you do not have a sorry lot. we all got ahj. it gets bettah and it will get bettah. and, you my dear will absolutely get yaself a book deal. you’re a beautiful writer. are you submitting? what are you working on?

    I hock a plenty, I’m a jew, it’s my birth right.

    did you fix the pod? I once whacked my pod, too. it was very upsetting. apple replaced it. why? I hocked them to death.

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