Deeply inconsequential despair, or “I haz a sad”

The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it?’ he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.’

`Two days wrong!’ sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!’ he added looking angrily at the March Hare.

`It was the BEST butter,’ the March Hare meekly replied.

`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,’ the Hatter grumbled: `you shouldn’t have put it in with the bread-knife.’

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It was the BEST butter, you know.’

There’s a song called Broken Telephone on the Be Good Tanyas‘ first album. It’s about a lost connection and it’s beautifully sad and profound but also simple. And it’s not about telephones at all really, it’s about the futility of trying to bridge inevitable distance, it’s about things being in such a sad state that the very construct of communication seems beyond your grasp, possibly lost to you forever.

Which brings me to the failure of my coffee maker. My scarcely-a-month-old “automatic” coffeemaker that I thought was the one. I recall the day we met. I was standing in the aisle of the store after its predecessor gave up the ghost: I was ready to be through with the whole lot of them. I wanted no more of the countertop detritus of cheap plastic coffee machines forever. I almost got the elegant french press, even considered the advantages of returning to the time-consuming but simple one-cup-at-a- time Melitta cone.

But convenience called. It’s a lucky day I manage to make it to work on time as it is. My mornings are rushed, even though I’d rather they weren’t. So I took one more chance. And now here I stand.

Oh sure, it still makes coffee. But I think a look at the video below will attest that it’s sorely lacking in the convenience department. I now have to assist the device that was supposed to help me save time. Somewhere behind those buttons, something quietly died and none of them work. Not the timer, not the clock, and definitely not the “automatic” part.

harrumph…… and woe. It’s always 12 o’clock now.


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